Body Energetix: Renew your Mind, Regulate your Emotions, Regenerate your Body

28: Healing Childhood Shame: Transformative Techniques for Self-Care and Nervous System Balancing

• Lauren Saracione • Episode 28

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What if your emotional wounds from childhood are silently sabotaging your self-care routines today? Join me, Lauren Saracione, on the Body Energeticx Podcast as we unravel the profound connections between inherited shame, drug use, and the nervous system, especially in those who faced emotional neglect during their formative years. We'll explore how these deep-rooted feelings can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors such as binge eating or quitting workouts and discuss my three-month program, Renovate, designed to uncover and heal these emotional scars. Gain a deeper understanding of how our early experiences shape our adult lives and learn practical strategies to overcome these challenges.

This episode also delves into the transformative power of self-parenting to achieve a harmonious mind, body, and emotions through habit change. Discover how addressing underlying shame and abandonment can foster empathy and ground your nervous system. Learn about physiological techniques like exercise, cold plunges, and sound baths to reconnect with your body. We'll also touch on how childhood experiences impact your current self-care routines and provide actionable steps to break free from chronic pain and the diet cycle. Join our gamified coaching community or enroll in the Renovate program for deeper, structured support. Tune in for an enlightening conversation on healing and self-care that promises to transform your approach to wellness.

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Welcome Body Energetix! I'm Lauren Saracione, 23-year fitness pro. I started my Hero's Journey of reconnecting with my Inner Child to heal my mind-body disorders 14 years ago. In my podcast, I share my 3-step system to renew your mind, regulate your emotions & regenerate your body.

Go to https://www.bodyenergetix.com to join my free community, where each week, we expand on the theme of the current episode so you can reconnect your mind-body to restore your physical health & create your desired aesthetic.

Body Energetix is the culmination of a lifetime of healing and over two decades of client experience. I have A LOT to share! Listen to episode 000 to navigate the Body Energetix System through podcast episode categories!
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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Body Energetics Podcast. I'm your host, 23-year fitness professional, lauren Cerceone. I started my hero's journey of reconnecting with my inner child to heal my mind-body disorders 14 years ago. In this podcast, I share my three-step system to renew your mind, regulate your emotions and regenerate your body. Go to bodyenergeticscom to join my free community where each week, we expand on the theme of the current episode so you can reconnect your mind body to restore your physical health and create your desired aesthetic. Welcome to Body Energetics podcast episodes number 27 and 28. This is the same intro for both of these episodes because these two episodes are based on the most recent coaching call within the Body Energetics Gamified Coaching Community. You can join there for free at bodyenergeticscom. That's energetics with an X. The Gamified Coaching Community is so that you can use all of my tools, all of my resources in my 23-year career and experience with clients, as well as my 14 years of doing inner work since I was diagnosed with PTSD. It's then that I learned that childhood experiences impact adult stress. In the 14 years since being diagnosed with PTSD, I've been doing a lot of inner work, a lot of therapy, a lot of spiritual stuff, as well as returning to Western medicine if you could believe it or not and having my chart changed to recovered PTSD because I have done so much inner work to where I get triggered versus living in a triggered state. Congratulations to me, yippee.

Speaker 1:

In these two episodes I'm going to share with you what we covered in the last Gamified coaching call, and it's super cool because we went kind of on opposite ends of the spectrum where in one conversation we were talking about God and another conversation we were talking about the nervous system. And I love this because what we did in this two-hour call. We take our time on the call. If we don't have a hard deadline, we just keep talking until everybody feels satisfied with the conversation. So in this two-hour conversation we went back and forth between the concepts of spirituality and spiritual practices and beliefs, as well as the earth science level of what's happening in our body on the nervous system level. So in the next two episodes I'm going to address both of these topics separately so that you can listen to it at your convenience listen to both of them or listen to just one or the other, whichever one resonates the most with you.

Speaker 1:

This is episode two of a two-part series based on the last Gamified coaching call. This is about the nervous system, and the context around this conversation was shame and drug use, and so what I want to do in this episode is share with you why drug use happens, especially if we were raised by parents who weren't so emotionally adept to handle us. So, before we begin, I want to talk about shame, because shame is something that dictates our self-esteem, obviously, and our confidence, and it makes us not do certain things, because if we do certain things that we like and we have been invalidated as children, then we or invalidated anytime. When we've been invalidated, that means we end up being bad. When we've been invalidated, that means we end up being bad. So then, when we're an adult and we want to do something or have something or be something, especially when it comes to your physical body, ladies, the shame energy is like a little gear that's always going on in the subconscious mind. That's going to be like nope, don't do it, don't put the other foot in front of the other.

Speaker 1:

What will people say? And then? What if front of the other? What will people say? And then what if you succeed and fail? What will people say? What if you just want this desire? How are people going to perceive you.

Speaker 1:

There's these automated thoughts, and sometimes the thoughts aren't even comprehensible. You don't even know the thought is happening. You just know that all of a sudden you're stuffing your face or you're not working out, or you quit, or you ghost or all like right, like just something happens. So when we're dealing with emotions that are unconscious, we don't know why we stop doing things or why we do do things. And when it is subconscious, this is where we can feel ourself having these urges or having the negative self-talk and not being able to break free of it. So, some of the stuff we're aware of, some of the stuff we're not aware of, the stuff that we're not aware of.

Speaker 1:

If you haven't heard already, I'm doing a three-month program called Renovate, where I'm going to take you step by step, through your body, through your emotions, through your relationship with food, to uncover the unconscious stuff. So this is for people who are doing a lot of dieting, a lot of yo-yo, a lot of binging, and for people whose body seems to go out on them when they're on a roll. That's the unconscious stuff that we need to get into our body to restore it and restore the relationship with food really, before we can get into the aesthetic stuff. So just DM me at Lauren Cerceon or at Body Energetics if you want to have the links or in presale right now. As of July 11th, the pricing will go up, so get it soon. As of July 11th, the pricing will go up, so get it soon.

Speaker 1:

So let's talk about the shame, okay. So how it gets in our body. So there's kind of like three stages of this. So under four years old it is inherited shame. There is absolutely nothing a four-year-old could do to deserve shame. So this happens by our genetics molecules of emotion. We were an egg inside of our mom, in her ovary, when she was inside your grandma, and on and on and on and on. So chemically we share emotions of our ancestors and then the people who were around us as we were kids and growing up. It's inherited, it is not ours. So when we're dealing with shame, that's four years old and under that's deep, because we are little sponges not comprehending and not making distinctions between our experiences. We just have the body and whatever we're feeling, we're making it about us. We just have the body and whatever we're feeling, we're making it about us. So if shame is in the air or shame is in the ovary and the egg. Shame is within us.

Speaker 1:

Then we get into the ages around our elementary, our middle school, to where we really want to belong. So we get influenced by the peers. So this is you know how we look, maybe how we smell, what our status is right Like, what kind of clothes we're wearing. So the shame in the like primary, elementary stages are going to be more about fitting in with the peer group. Then, when we get into the teens, 20s and even 30s, this is where we have shame around the world, our place in the world and how we need the world to be wrong in order for us to feel right.

Speaker 1:

So if we look at shame as an energetic or as like a mechanism that influences our behavior, and we also attach that into the nervous system and how we abandoned ourselves when something bad was happening to us or we had a bad feeling, the abandonment of our self is really how we escaped the sensations in our body and there's lots of words to describe this and I don't want to make it too wordy to to like lose the context, but we kind of like lose consciousness in a sense. So if we have the the something bad happened to our body or we have an emotional experience that we make me mean that we are bad. The disconnection that happens is so that we don't have to face those feelings and that identification. And when we have shame, the shame is about the self, no matter what age the young age, the middle age or the high school and adult age. The shame that we have is going to then apply to anything that we're doing or anything that we want to achieve and, for the context of the body and reaching our goals, it prevents us from becoming our dream body one way or another.

Speaker 1:

But what I want to talk about on a deeper level, with the nervous system and the conversation that we were having around this, this person. She's had a whole bunch of health issues recently, but she also has struggled with yo-yo dieting to where she's losing like 20, 30 pounds and then packing it back on, not having an appreciation for her body, even though it's birthed children naturally, and feeling deep shame about who she became in her teenage years, to feel a sense of connection with drugs. So, as we had this conversation, the first thing that I said was for those of us who have disconnected, who have escaped the feeling sensations in our body because they made us feel bad, who lost consciousness, who disconnected the mind-body. The way for us to feel a sense of connection on the chemical level is to have a drug that helps us escape and have a euphoric high. So we have this incredible sensation that life is wonderful, our body probably doesn't hurt, all of the intrusive thoughts go away, we feel calm, we feel relaxed, we may even have beautiful images that come to mind that make us feel awe within ourself. Right, because it's a mind-altering substance and because that experience is happening within the self and we're having dopamine and serotonin as a chemical reaction, with the body secreting from the brain, the mind-body feels connected. So the drug use, whether it's a drug, whether it's alcohol or whether it is food, gives us a sense of connection just as long as the high or that habit is happening. Right, because as soon as we're done with the binge, we feel shame on top of the shame that we were trying to cover. So when we're talking about, this is like okay, this is what your body is chemically urging you to do, to feel the sense of connection.

Speaker 1:

Because you didn't have the sense of connection because of the things that happened when you were little, and so the things that happened when she was little is that she did have two parents that were emotionally immature and did not actually parent her. She was neglected a lot and the things that happen when we're kids by parents who don't know how to parent. We end up making sense of the sensations in our body based on whatever we've been exposed to. And if we had parents that were wounded and didn't do their inner work and didn't check themselves when they were triggered, then we are going to apply their mindsets and their point of view about us, like if we were overly disciplined by an authoritarian, if we didn't have emotional needs met, then we're going to use those things as our mindset. And then we use those things, that mindset, to apply to whatever it is in life that we're experiencing as we develop. So, as we're going through the primary and elementary time of wanting to fit into the peer group and the clique, we're going to use the mindsets of the parents and what we created, based on our environment, on our sense of self, based on whatever that clique and cultural thing was, with the, with your peers, and then the same thing with the world.

Speaker 1:

It just compounds the mindsets that we that the parents had and the way the parents made us feel, and our abandonment of trying to escape the feelings, all get mismatched in our nervous system, in a dysregulated mind body system, and then they impact everything that we're doing. So for this person, she knows how to exercise, she knows how to diet, she's had success in the past, but why does she keep going backwards? She keeps going backwards because something in her environment triggers her or she gets to a certain threshold in her dysregulated system. That goes kaput when the dysregulated nervous system that's not connected can no longer keep up the facade that it was having when she was doing the things necessary to lose the weight. So when that threshold is met, the nervous system basically reverts the entire body back to whenever those thoughts and feelings were first imprinted into the body.

Speaker 1:

So this is the frustrating reason why we've heard things like, myself included if you do something for 21 days, it'll be a habit. Well, why can't we get to the 21 days? Or what if we do get to the 21 days and we can't keep up with it? Why? So, when we're looking at this at the nervous system level and understanding how shame works and develops through our body as we're growing up, how we disassociate from ourselves when something bad is happening to us or we make an event or an emotion mean something bad about us. And then when we understand how the nervous system is operating, everything in your body, then we can say, okay, there is a contrast between that conscious desire that's the three to 5% and the unconscious, who we actually are. That's that 95 to 97. That 95 to 97 is usually based on a dysregulated nervous system. Most of us are all dysregulated.

Speaker 1:

So when we understand this, then we get to be our parent, then we get to be the daddy, the disciplinarian, the leader of this amazing mechanism and we're going to say, okay, this is the blueprint, this is the warrior master plan. So if the dad or the mind you self-parenting yourself is understanding this as a knowledge based that you are in school to understand, then you take the feminine energetics or the mother and the caring principle to say, now, we're going to take this information so we understand what's happening in our body. And then what we're going to do is we're going to take this information so we understand what's happening in our body, and then what we're going to do is we're going to look at habit change with our food and our exercise as a way for us to nurture ourself. And when we cannot nurture ourself, we're going to look at that reason why and try to understand what's going on. So when we bump up against resistance and an emotion, we say what are we feeling right now? And we ask ourselves how old do I feel? So that we make a connection to our younger selves, so that we can re-experience the feeling, understand what we're making it mean about us, look for ways that we had safety and connection in those moments, validate the emotions and then take our little self through our life to show her what you've become because of her, because part of what's happening in this disassociation from being really little and the dysregulated nervous system, it's that the little girl or little boy inside of us is abandoned. It is all alone continuing to have this emotional experience. So when you do the inner work and get introspective with this caring meditation that I just described, and you take her through your life and you promise to her you're never going to leave her, you thank her for everything that you've become because of her and you start to act as if that thing never separated the two of you. So I have pictures of different ages of myself all over on my laptop, on my phone, on my social media content on my laptop, on my phone, on my social media content. I pull pictures from memories that I have been processing so that I bring that part with me, so that I know that when I get triggered I'm like, oh, it's that little girl, or I'm like it's not really that little girl, what else happened? And then I find a new repressed memory and I bring that girl with me.

Speaker 1:

So if we get to be our own dad and self-parenting and having a blueprint and a strategy and an understanding to stay grounded of this is what's happening physiologically and we reparent ourself through the mother aspect of looking at habit change as an opportunity to self-care and we allow the resistance of the habit change to expose the younger versions of ourself that are carrying shame and abandonment, then we get to unify mind and body and emotions, thoughts, feelings and the manifestation within the body, thoughts, feelings and the habits that go with them, and we start to diffuse the shame. We start to have empathy for ourself and then when we get triggered, when the nervous system gets dysregulated, we've got daddy in our head to be like whoa, whoa, let's check in. We've got mom in our heart to say, hey, you, okay, I know that was fucking scary, I would be scared too. Let's talk about it. And then you as this child within yourself, and you parenting your body, as the child, your body gets to transform.

Speaker 1:

When we're focusing on the nervous system, we also want to spend time with the actual nervous system, move into sympathetic, where it's our reactions of fighting or fleeing, avoiding the habits or sabotaging our results, then into ventral, where we feel a connection within ourself and we can stay grounded with our emotions so that we don't use ghosting habits or our body sabotaging us or using food to sabotage us as the regulator. So how we actually do that with the nervous system is a couple of things Exercise, moving, listening to music, toning, big breath, big, long, audible sighs, cold plunges, cold showers, sound baths, cuddling. We have to spend time with the nervous system itself, just like an exercise, just like you're going to lift weights to grow muscle, in addition to the reparenting, because the nervous system on the physiological level, on the body, is disconnected. It's disconnected because of the relationship with the caregivers. So then when we go to do self-care, we can't do it and we look at self-care and put it in a category of a diet that means we're good or bad if we stick to it, and an exercise program. That's gonna prove that we're valuable if we get the results, which all have a reminiscent feeling and meaning to whatever happened when we were kids with our caregivers. So this is why I love this conversation, because it brought everything into the body to understand how human development works, how the body physiologically works, how the nervous system is working, so that we can really stay grounded and coherent and regulated when we're making our diet and exercise changes to produce our dream body.

Speaker 1:

So if you would like help with this, you can join the gamified coaching community where you can win the coaching call every month, or you can join us for the three-month renovation Starts on August 19th. And this is for the person who is dealing with the diet cycle, the yo-yo dieting. They wanna get off of that hamster wheel. No more quick fix supplements and challenges. It's also for someone who has headaches and tension and chronic pain. This is the unconscious.

Speaker 1:

I am gonna take you into your body every single week for three months. I'm going to take you through the body, take you through the mind, take you through food. You can do just body or just food. You could do both. Right now, as of July 11th, they are pre-sale, where it's $600 if you do one or the other and then $850 if you do both.

Speaker 1:

So you can just reach out to me on Instagram, at Lauren Cerceon or at Body Energetics, and then I'll give you the links. The pricing is going to go up the closer we get to it and the more details about how you're going to do it are exposed. So jump in now. If you know that you want to get into that deeper level, if you want to have accountability and coaching on a weekly basis we're going to be connected more than once a week. So if you want a little bit more high touch, that's going to be for you the renovation. If you want to kind of go at your own pace, then you can do the body energetics community. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you found it helpful, please give me a five-star rating and review, share it with your friends, tag me on social media at body energetics with an X or at Lauren Circeon and I'll reshare you to my story. We'll see you in the Body Energetics community at bodyenergeticscom.