Body Energetix: Renew your Mind, Regulate your Emotions, Regenerate your Body

032: How to create a powerful WHY

• Lauren Saracione

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Ever wondered if balancing your mental and emotional state could be the key to unlocking your true potential? Discover the transformative power of achieving mental-emotional coherency as we unravel how internal motivation can thrive despite external hurdles. We delve into the impact of seeking external validation, the significance of internal ruptures or traumas, and the magic of breathing techniques that bridge the gap between mind and body. Learn how to manage stress, integrate unprocessed emotions, and break free from unhelpful patterns to ensure sustained personal growth.

Join us as we examine the roots and repercussions of early dieting experiences and their ties to our psychological and emotional well-being. Reflect on the moments that shaped your relationship with food and your body, and understand how these early experiences often lead to self-sabotage. By recognizing the underlying needs for love and connection, we explore strategies for achieving brain and heart coherence. Additionally, we'll share insights into the complex relationship between emotions and food and introduce the Body Energetics community, which offers tools and support for a balanced and fulfilling lifestyle. This episode promises to equip you with the knowledge to transform your relationship with food and your body, empowering you to create a more fulfilling future.

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Welcome Body Energetix! I'm Lauren Saracione, 23-year fitness pro. I started my Hero's Journey of reconnecting with my Inner Child to heal my mind-body disorders 14 years ago. In my podcast, I share my 3-step system to renew your mind, regulate your emotions & regenerate your body.

Go to https://www.bodyenergetix.com to join my free community, where each week, we expand on the theme of the current episode so you can reconnect your mind-body to restore your physical health & create your desired aesthetic.

Body Energetix is the culmination of a lifetime of healing and over two decades of client experience. I have A LOT to share! Listen to episode 000 to navigate the Body Energetix System through podcast episode categories!
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Speaker 1:

Roseanne, I said no more rose, no more noises. For okay, okay, super cute, oh my god, super cute. Oh my God, okay, I'm going to go live. Yay, I hit both the buttons at the same exact time and Instagram was a little bit later. Oh, I lied Wow, wow, facebook, turn me off. Try that again. Are we live? We are live. Yay, welcome to this training. We are live streaming on zoom, on Facebook, on Instagram, so that way, this can live forever.

Speaker 1:

And I'm even going to make this an opt-in on my website so that if you want to have a PDF for journal prompts, you can have that. Hello, I'm so excited there are some people live on Instagram. Okay, so drop in any questions that you might have If you saw my story announcement that I was going to be live and to check out the post that has journal prompts for this exact topic. So this is a great conversation to have, because this is going to help you stay internally motivated, aka inspired to stick with your habits, no matter what, even if you've got PMS, even if your back is out, even if you're sick, like nothing will take you out. It might put you on pause, but it will not take you away from your goal. So one of the things that a lot of people do that like messes up the achievement of their healthy and fit body is that they make it about people congratulating them on their effort or giving them an applause for their accomplishment. And so those two things really are indicators of what mental, what mindsets, what mindsets we've created to block ourselves from feeling the emotions, the frozen states from any childhood or any age where we had an internal rupture. So I want to break this down for you, because I'm going to tell you why and the mechanics of what's going on in your mind, body, and then how you're going to create the powerful why, so that, no matter what, you stay internally, internally motivated, inspired to take action on your life.

Speaker 1:

So an internal rupture is also called trauma. So trauma is relative what can upset one person might not upset another one. But the thing that we have to grasp is that trauma or an internal rupture, is about a mind-body split, a mental-emotional split. Where the brain disconnects, it becomes incoherently connected to the heart, and we can understand this from HeartMath Institute and brain and heart coherency, breathing that when we slow our breath down to five seconds in and five seconds out, we're telling the physical heart. There is no stress, there's nothing to run from. So, physiologically, the first step is the heart slows down and knows that it is perfectly safe.

Speaker 1:

Then, when we are in this state, what ends up happening is we set the stage by feeling gratitude and appreciation for ourselves just for showing up to this practice to breathe for five seconds in and five seconds out. Then, in this practice, we think about something that, if we were to experience it in real life, would make us feel love, joy, appreciation, kindness or care. Now, because we're imagining something that would make us feel this way and our heart is in a relaxed state, it's as if the energetic heart turns on, as if your emotional body, there's layers of your body, not just the physical body. It's like your emotional body, a layer of your aura, is like oh, this is how I feel, and what happens is that signal that's coming from the heart, that emotional frequency of love, joy, appreciation, kindness, care, then sends a signal into the brainwaves and then the brainwaves slow down and become coherent and oftentimes they get into the state of theta, and theta is when we are in a highly receptive state, and that is also a state that we were in in our developmental ages, generally like four to seven. So we're putting us in a very highly suggestible state of mind. That's the brain and heart coherency, breathing and the studies around this shows how this changes the electromagnetic field of the body. And then what happens physiologically in health when the brain and heart get connected, when they are coherent.

Speaker 1:

So anytime there is an internal rupture, at any developmental age or stage where it is too much stress for the brain to comprehend, of the feeling of bad, wrong, not good enough, too much unworthy, unlovable, split Anytime the physical sensations, the feeling sensation in the body is too much for the brain to comprehend. Split Brain and heart coherency, breathing is where it's at, to start to bring it together. When we have this split, a couple of a lot of things happen, a whole lot of things happen. But I want to share this with you that when we have the emotional states that are too overwhelming for our brain to comprehend, they freeze. Some people describe it as dead energy, some people describe it as a portal in your aura that like a black hole that just stuff gets sucked into. People call it the shadow, people call it our projections. The emotional state is always active, always experiencing itself. But because there's a split with the brain.

Speaker 1:

The comprehending, functioning adult of the three to 5% conscious thinking mind has no idea it's happening. The only thing the conscious mind is aware of is same shit, different day, same relationship, different man, same experience with diet but it's a different diet. We can see the repetition in our life but we don't understand that it's actually us that's creating it in some way. So these unprocessed, unintegrated emotions that are in our body are not connected to the brain. But what the brain does is think of ways to make sure that this emotional state is never actually experienced and validated. Because if the brain became coherently aware of this emotional state, that person that three to five percent of the conscious mind, would have to actually face the sadness or the disappointment or the feelings of being unlovable or unworthy.

Speaker 1:

So the brain is always going and going and going, figuring out how to make sure that the felt sensation of these really horrible emotions are never experienced. But these really horrible emotions are never experienced. But these really horrible emotions are always active and they are unconscious. We don't know they're happening, but we can experience them by the tension or the illness we have in our body and we can experience them by the patterns that keep showing up in our life and the relationships that keep showing up on our life that don't feel good, that keep reminding of us, of a parent or a time when.

Speaker 1:

So part of how this mind-body split from the emotional perspective and the mindset perspective show up in our habits is that when we're on our, when we create this fantasy in our head of what our really healthy and fit body is going to look like, the thing that goes along with the fantasy is how people are going to say, wow, like this was so much work, you are absolutely incredible. You have so much discipline. I wish I could be like you. Wow, how did you do that? Well, all of those words of affirmation are giving that person a sensation of feeling confident and like, yeah, I am worthwhile. So the goal of being healthy and fit is no longer about the person having the own experience of having a healthy and fit body. It's now become the external validation through gifts of affirmation, something that in our heart of hearts, we were really longing for from our parents to attune to us, validate our feelings and let us know how special we were to them.

Speaker 1:

The second thing is that we want to have the applause. We want someone to say you know what a great job we did. So we have somebody who's going to acknowledge the effort and say how great we are and how disciplined we are and possibly say how much they wish they could be like us with this lifestyle. They could never do it. And then when we're looking for someone to congratulate on the finished product, right, we put the before in pictures up there. We want people to say look at how far I've come, look at who I am now. Well, to make the applause, the reason to get fit, that dopamine hit is so minimal it's not going to last very long. That dopamine hit of having a bunch of people comment on a photo or do whatever it is that they're going to do is only going to last you a couple hours to a couple days, is only going to last you a couple hours to a couple days. And then, once that dopamine is worn off and you're back to the humdrum of regular life, you're actually kind of lower in your attitude and in your zest for life or your zest for even doing the habits anymore, because now the dopamine kind of dropped below where you were on your way to this quote, unquote finished product. And so if we're looking for something to like seal the deal of, now that I've arrived, now I am worthy, lovable, I am good enough, I'm not too much, I am right, I am good.

Speaker 1:

We think that the emotional body is creating this accomplishment, experience of an end product as a way to not feel those things Like, it's trying to cancel out the feelings of not enough. So we've got the mindset that's going to want to have people validate, to say yes, we're great, get those words of affirmation. Then we have the emotional body thinking that this one thing is going to make all of these feelings go away. So those are the things that we're actually up against when we set a goal that's based on the external. So we have to make the goal about the internal, and the body is the place where you know we're accepted into society or not.

Speaker 1:

It's the thing that if it dies, we're no longer going to exist, at least as a human right. And then, like, whatever your idea is about spirit or the soul or energy, that energy never dies, it just changes. So there's really no death. There's the death of the body, but there's never the death of the soul or the spirit, but the body to not understand how much the body is a partner with us mentally and emotionally, that's always responding or reacting to the things that we're doing and the things that we're thinking and feeling and the stress that we're interacting with.

Speaker 1:

When we're not recognizing the body's role and we think that we can apply a certain standard or an exact template to get a certain result in a matter of three months, it's really flawed and the only way that we can get on board with this like guaranteed outcome is if we make it about the external, because we're following an external thing, we're basing it on the external, and when you meet somebody who's been healthy and fit for a long time or they've been able to make substantial changes in their life, you'll hear them usually say that they had to work on themselves and they had to come to peace with certain things within themselves. So I want to share that with you today an exact process for you to do this very minute to create a powerful why, because this powerful why is going to be like the linchpin of you finally getting results and you finally being able to understand why you get sick, why you get a flare every time you set a goal or every time you reach a milestone, or every time something comes into your path that is not aligned with you, that you can't say no to. So your body will say no for you. This is also going to help you attract the exact right tools of diet strategy, nutrition strategy, exercise strategy programs, personal trainers, coaching containers. This is going to help you attract exactly what you need. So everybody needs something a little bit different. You ready? Here is how it goes.

Speaker 1:

The first thing that you are going to do is take a moment to feel the first time you believed that you needed to change your body to be loved, accepted, seen and heard. So if you're doing this right now with me and you're not driving and hopefully you're in a squishy chair, you can put your hand on your heart. If you want, lean back, close your eyes and see if you can feel who you were. The moment you realized there's something that you needed to change physically about you, to feel connection. Okay, because this is going to share with us what some of the frozen, unresolved, unprocessed emotions are that this feeling that's creating a belief about changing your body to then deserve or be lovable. It's telling us what that frozen state is. So really take your time with it. Maybe press pause if you're on a replay, and really try to feel who you were, what was going on in your life, what it was like to maybe look down at your thighs or look at your stomach or look at yourself in the mirror or look at somebody else and realize, oh, I need to look such and such a way. Then I'll have dot, dot, dot, dot dot. So that's the first one.

Speaker 1:

The second one is to feel into the very first diet, so who you were, what was going on in your life, how you were feeling about yourself the very first time you dieted. Now I've met some women who've been dieting since they were seven and eight years old because their mom was afraid they were going to become obese and so they put them on diets as they were a little bit chubby for their age group, according to whoever. So this can be any age. So anytime you started the diet, when was the very first time you dieted and what were you expecting to have happen as a result of that diet and what were you thinking about yourself? How were you judging yourself? That made you want to do this right? And it was probably something crazy, like a grapefruit diet or the cabbage soup diet it was probably just starvation of really trying to cut your calories. To prove a point, prove you could do it. Have that discipline to then miraculously lose all the weight in one week. Maybe you lost some weight, maybe you didn't. And then, whenever the wheels came off, because you cannot outwit your physiology, your body is going to eventually tell you to consume more than enough to bring you back to balance.

Speaker 1:

So who were you and what were you feeling and what were you expecting was going to happen? That very first diet? Because these two things, these two ages and stages, are going to tell us a lot about the dysregulated. Tell us a lot about the dysregulated, incoherent brain and heart state you're under and why your body backfires on you, why you sabotage yourself. And then also why, when you fail, when you don't get the result, when you quit, when something comes up, the result when you quit, when something comes up, the reason why you project onto other women who have the body that you want, you blame toxic diet, culture or the patriarchy. Your projections are the emotional states of who you were when you believed that you needed to change your body in order to feel love, and they are just shooting out of you at wherever it makes sense for the context of your body goals to blame.

Speaker 1:

So we blame diet culture toxic diet culture, which is totally relevant. Diet culture toxic diet culture, which is totally relevant, dating back to the Gibson girl in like 1890, where an artist with the last name of Gibson started sketching the ideal woman who, anatomically, is impossible to create I mean, with plastic surgery you can do it now and all of the crazy things that we've gone through as women to fit the patriarchal standard of attractiveness tapeworms, smoking, cocaine those were actual prescriptions to lose weight 100 years ago, 75 years ago. So diet culture is relevant, but if that's the reason why you can't get in shape, it's a projection. Then, if you're going to go down the road of the patriarchy and that, yes, all shapes and sizes are gorgeous in all different areas of the world, the beauty standard is different all over and it wasn't until the patriarchy came into play that we all got sloughed into a certain aesthetic, also true, but if that's the reason why you can't get healthy and fit, it's a projection.

Speaker 1:

So, being able to look back at these two times, the very first moment you believed that you needed to change your body in order to feel loved and who you were and what your expectations were and how you were feeling the very first time you dieted. That's going to tell us that external motivation that you're applying to your body that is preventing you from actualizing your goals. You're applying to your body that is preventing you from actualizing your goals. So now that we have these two times in our life, now we actually get to be the functioning adult and take a look at that younger version. And for that younger version, what you need to ask her or him is what do you need? And sometimes this will take a couple of tries before this younger version of you will say what he or she needs. And you just be patient with the practice and hopefully, sooner rather than later, you will have some insight for what the versions of you needed, what was actually required to feel love and connection, that the protective mind, the ego, said hey, if you change your body, you'll definitely get this.

Speaker 1:

So what was actually needed? What was actually needed for the version of you that started a diet for the very first time? Whether it was because your mom put you on it or whether it was because you put yourself on it Doesn't matter. What did that version of you actually need? Then you might notice that you've already become those things, and if you've already become those things that you needed, congratulations. Now all you have to do is put one foot in front of the other and strengthen your self-belief and be like I actually did it. I don't need my body to change for me to feel love. I don't need a guarantee from a diet to feel deserving of love. Okay, cool.

Speaker 1:

Now the next thought is now that I understand that I've already become this. Let me decide what my next level is. Because once you find the awareness that you've already accomplished something, you've already filled a gap for yourself, then it's like you get to compound the energy. You get to compound interest. So that means that the mindset that you had because you believe that you needed to change your body, that mindset is just a mindset or a template that gets applied to everything in your life. So you've already used this mindset to create fantastic things in your life.

Speaker 1:

If you did the work and you recognize that you've already become who that version of you needed. Now it's you validating yourself. So now you got to get the emotional body on board and be like yeah, actually I kind of overcame the void. So let me now emotionally validate that and talk to that younger version of myself. And that mental, emotional reconnection that's you getting another level of brain and heart coherency. When your brain and heart are coherent and you decide what you want and you don't have that unresolved emotion messing up your vibration, magnetizing things to you that you don't want, now you actually get to create something. So now you're like yeah, I did it, I already created that, I already filled that void. Now what do I want? So now you're pushing an edge. Now you're growing and you will come up against another mindset that is protective, that is going to try to prevent you from your next level. You might get a flare, you might get sick, something might come up that prevents you from taking it to the next level, and that's the opportunity to look at a new unintegrated, unprocessed emotion that now you are actually ready to deal with.

Speaker 1:

If you have not become the person that that version of you needed, now it's your job to do that. So now you take that focus to reparent yourself. You become the attunement to yourself and instead of having the goal of the healthy and fit body to have people. Congratulate you on your effort, congratulate you on your accomplishment. Now the why behind all of your habit change is filling the void you becoming the person you needed to be, the very first time you believed that you needed to change your body to feel loved, and the very first diet that you ever went on. That is the why for your habit change.

Speaker 1:

Then there might be an arrival where you look at yourself in the mirror and like, oh my God, I can see more of my abs, like the first. The first time I saw that I had ab definition was, um, I was taking off a sweatshirt and my training partner snapped a picture because there were visible abs and he's like, look and I look. I'm like, oh my god, I did. I did it and it didn't last, because my weight fluctuated after I went on my anti, after I started integrating foods that gave me inflammation and I boomeranged from being super strict with dieting and anti-inflammatory food, but now they're like coming back. I don't know if you can see them here.

Speaker 1:

So there might be an arrival. There might be a time where you look at yourself and you're like I did it, but you cannot stop there. It's like letting stale water be a perfect breeding ground for mosquitoes. You cannot stay at the arrival of whatever your body goal was, because it will go away. If you think it arrived, you think that you hit a destination. You will no longer have the energy to keep up with the habits because now you don't have an incentive. Right? Because if we thought there was an arrival, it was really because we wanted the external validation to fill those voids. We wanted the dopamine hit.

Speaker 1:

So filling the void is something that I learned for myself when I was tracking macros on a reverse diet and on my anti-inflammatory eating list. Because it was so restrictive and I had. Because it was so restrictive and because there really wasn't. It was. It was also like in 2021 and 22, 21. I don't know, I don't know what it was, but it was like mostly during lockdown time. So there also wasn't a lot externally to focus on.

Speaker 1:

So because there wasn't a lot of very many outlets for expression of emotions, a lot of times we eat when we're bored right, because we get a dopamine hit when we eat food, serotonin too. So the amount of restriction and lack of stimulation I had in my life no outlet with food. That really taught me to see how the emotions are projected onto the tools and then why we have this battle with the tools to get to our dream body. And then why we have this battle with the tools to get to our dream body, the deeper I have been getting mentorship to understand why my body started locking down in November of 23 when I started to date with the intention that there was a life partner. Since I've been getting mentorship around those unprocessed emotions that have to do with people outside of me, not just my relationship with food and my body. Now I'm really understanding that it's these developmental ages and stages that we can put ourselves back into and look at the goal of the dream body or being healthy and fit as the focal point to put our energy to become the person we needed at those times that we had the internal rupture.

Speaker 1:

So it's a really fantastic process to shift yourself into so that, no matter what's going on in your life or in your body, the relationship with your body and the relationship with self-care is truly about you creating connection within yourself and as you create the connection with yourself, with brain and heart coherency, breathing, your nervous system gets more and more into a ventral state and the ventral state is the state of connection and we are a collaborative species that has gotten super messed up with trauma. Everybody trying to get their needs met conquest war. So the more of us that get into a ventral nervous system state, the more we can become a ventral tether. And when we are a ventral tether to other people, people's nervous systems become more regulated. And it's not that we can fix anybody or that there is a inflated sense of self because of this ventral state. It's that the more we do the work to keep ourself regulated and when we connect with people, it just creates an opening for people to feel something different than blocking an unprocessed emotion, feel maybe something different than tension in their body and then, because they're feeling something different, they may actually magnetize to them exactly what they need and their life will start to change just because you were in the vicinity. So there's a much bigger context to taking care of yourself in my perspective. That can reach so many people, but first always reach yourself so that you can become healthy and fit and you can recognize that at any time you're having a hard time with your body or the tools that it's really about avoid, that you can fill for yourself or that you already have, and you just have to find that self-validation and then the body will keep coming and evolving and getting healthier and healthier.

Speaker 1:

So that was your training. We're 30 minutes, oh, I'm so glad. So this is going to go onto YouTube. I'm going to chop it up into a bunch of clips to put on the Body Energetics Instagram at Body Energetics with an X. If you want support, you can totally join bodyenergeticscom. That is my gamified coaching community, where I give you all the tools and a step-by-step action plan. The more you interact with the platform, the more chances you get to win a small group coaching call on the first Saturday of the month. So if you're someone who has thought to themselves man, I wish I knew a personal trainer that I could pick their brain over a cup of coffee, you can go do that at the Body Energetics community, and the more questions you ask and the more responses you get from me and the deeper you go, the more opportunity you ask and the more responses you get from me and the deeper you go, the more opportunity you have to get personal coaching from me on that first Saturday of the month. The other thing I want to tell you about is renovation, which starts next Monday, so August 19th. Right now, the price point for just mind and body, or just feelings and food, is a thousand each, or if you want to do both, it's $1,250.

Speaker 1:

We meet on Tuesdays at 11 am Pacific time to do activation exercises in your body. That's going to activate your energy. It's going to stimulate unprocessed emotions in your body. We are going to activate them on purpose so that you can start to process them and I'm going to teach you how to process them. On Fridays, we're meeting at 11 am Pacific time as well, and that day we're talking about feelings and food and I'm going to share with you how you can look at your relationship with food through attachment theory. So we're going to use branches of psychology to help you understand how your body is functioning, how you are creating a relationship with food, so that you can correct them, so that you can actually have a good experience in your body. So you can email me, lauren, at Lauren Cerceonecom, you can DM Lauren Cerceone on Instagram, private message me on Facebook and, yeah, maybe you'll be there on the 19th. Otherwise, just hit up bodyenergeticscom and join the community. Bye, guys, thank you, okay, thank you, okay, thank you, thank you, you Great you you.